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Thursday, 20 March 2008

Currently Watching
Martian Child
By John Cusack, Joan Cusack, Amanda Peet, Bobby Coleman, Sophie Okonedo
see related
I once throw alway my candy stash out of rage of my weight problem hoping that i finally made up my mind that i wouldn't gorge myself every time my mood wasn't set to happy. All i did was just waste some 20 dollars worth of gourmet chocolates and made room for about dozen new types of sweet tooth filling depression suppressing hours. About an hour ago i was going to do the same for my green stash and happy pills because maybe they were hindering me, but i didn't, I'm just not ready now. I just need to outgrow it, a stage i need to fulfill. i stopped thinking about the why, why now, why me, why am i here, its useless, i just need to live and be, and when i look back maybe 80 to 100 years from now, I'll hopefully find out...at least a bit.

Friday, 29 February 2008

Currently Listening
Scream & Light Up the Sky
By The Honorary Title
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I'm such a night owl and i use to think its because its so quite at night and thats the only time i can get anything done, but living on my own for the past few month made me realize its just another form of procrastination for me. During the day i sleep ...waking up around noon or a little before noon on a good day, then i start killing time...doing just about nothing. Around dinner time i freak out thinking I've done nothing, and what do i do...kill more time watching tv...god i hate tv, but i can't live without it....and by the time i know it its midnight....now what do i do...i cook...really i was just making fruit tea and curry for tomorrow...in between this time i surf the net do some work...and look what time is it...almost 5am...and what have i done...really not much...all the things on my important to do list i've got nothing done...nothing! i suck at time management...

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

myspace: cjenny
facebook: my full name...

i'm skipping out xanga....no one uses this anymore..sad...

Friday, 17 August 2007

forgetting you is impossible,
forgiving you is not,
but what lies in forgiveness is harder
is letting you go
seeing that a part of me is you
its hard to let go
my love runs deeper then my pride
and without it i lose myself
I'm just not ready to lose myself
you were so much a part of me
and now i have no choice
but to let you go
and its more painful then you would ever know
being forced to let you go
my love runs deep and its hard to pull
my tears runs dry
my heart numb from pain
still its unforgiving on its stand
it won't let go
it won't forgive
it won't forget

I can't forgive him because to forgive him is to let him go, and I'm just not ready yet.
Currently Listening
Rise
By Gabrielle
should i stay
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I've been alone for too long
I've been alone for too long
Did you want me to just welcome you
With open arms
Did you want me to fall at your feet
Falling for your charms

I've been alone for too long
I've been alone for too long
Always looking out for rainbows
That's how I lived my life
Always searching for rainbows
Cos I want color in my life

You've been away for far too long
And I've been alone for too long
I've been chasing your picture
Around the corners of my mind
But you keep getting farther
Farther every time

Everyday I travel, travel in time
try my best to reach you
I just don't know what I'll find
Everyday I travel
Everyday you lie
Everyday it's harder
Harder to forgive

You've been away for too long
I've been alone for too long
Looking out for shadows
thinking of you
Chasing after shadows
What am I supposed to do

I've been alone for too long
I've been alone for too long
Did you want me to just welcome you
with open arms
Did you want me to fall at your feet
Falling for your charms
I've been alone for too long
I've been alone for too long

Gabrielle-alone